Hey guys, apologies for the radio silence. I have a lot to cover, so I'll start with the important stuff first, and keep all the boring life stuff towards the end. But of course, we MUST start with all the birthday love I got. Thank you so much for all your sweet birthday messages, and goodies like points and drawings! Thank you all so much ; _ ; It was my 30th b-day, and I was kinda bummed, so thanks for thinking of me that day u_u *tiniest big hug ever*
Size Con Updates
So as you all *hopefully* know, this year we'll be having Size Con on July 29th and July 30th in Queens, New York City - that's right, 2 days! We're closing in on 4 months until the big event, so if you haven't gotten your tickets yet, please do so at www.sizecon.com
I'll be there running some panels, and at Artist Alley on Saturday!
which by the way, if you're a content producer of any kind and want be part of our Artist Alley, please contact
and he'll fill you in on the details. As I've mentioned briefly before, we're making some major improvements to 2016's con. This includes making a Size Con app, so you can keep track of panel times, artist locations, a Con map, etc. As well as download exclusive Size Con goodies via QR code at each of our Artist Alley booths. We're also adding a space for size related games at the con, like a Cards Against Humanity Size edition we've been testing since before Size Con 2016, as well as a DD inspired size related RPG game. We also have way more rooms now, and hope to have more tech demos, video showings, etc. I'm super pumped for this!!
Size Con Poster Submission
Last year at Size Con, we did a small contest for creators to send us their size inspired pictures. We are again reaching out to the community to submit their art for consideration. If your art is picked, it will be printed on a large poster print which will be displayed at the con with your username or whichever details you prefer to share - free publicity folks!
Not only that, your poster will be handed back to you at the con as a souvenir, or in the unfortunate event that you can't attend, we will mail it to you. Rules for Poster Submission
1) It must be size related - giant/inflated/expanded human(s) and or humanoid(s) (furry, alien, etc) with a tiny/normal human(s) and or humanoid(s).
2) It must be made at a super large scale, if not it'll look like poop when it's printed
Please make it at 72000 x 10800, 300 DPI.
3) We accept drawings, photo manipulations and 3D renderings. Please no comics, word bubbles, ads, etc.
4) NO nudity. Scantly clad is OK, but there should be some hint of clothing, not like a conveniently placed building covering their private parts.
5) All submissions should go to email@example.com or Pro Tips to help you win!
1) Add the Size Con Logo to it, you can grab it off our website. Please pander, we love it
2) Mix it up! Unlike our diverse guests, our posters were kinda similar last year - almost all F/m related, both individuals white. I hope this encourages people to draw more M/f, POC, Gays, Lesbians, furries, expanding men and inflating women, etc! Hopefully we can make this event feel even more inclusive than last year
But we can't do it without your participation!
3) Be creative~! You want to attract guests to your poster!
Commissions and Patreon
I'm still closed for commissions, and I keep saying this because I keep getting asked every few days if I'm open or not! XD
I apologize for the slow down this month in both moving my current commission line and addressing my Patreon comic. I'll get into further detail about that below (if you care as to why I'm late), but I did want to reassure you all that I'm still working on those. Aside from my job, these are my highest priorities. Thank you for your continued patience ; _ ;
The shittiest Month and a half (long and ranty, so prepare your body)
So I'm sorry I've been so quiet. I've mentioned before that I've been really depressed, and honestly it's gotten worse. Every time I find myself dusting myself off, something shitty comes and trips me up. I used to recover so quickly from this sort of thing, but I find myself struggling to find a balance. My health for one has been one of the biggest things bringing me down. I think I may have hyperthyroidism because of this funk I've been in....maybe a funk I've been in for a while and just kind of pushed through. I have literally every symptom, and my sister has Hashimoto's. I've been wanting to get it checked, but now I'm still without any coverage because apparently, a company I contracted for last year had me working under 2 companies?? New York State thought I still had a full time paying job, which I don't, so I wasn't getting the help or reimbursements I needed through Medicaid. If you all remember, I'm working on my own project now with Sergio which wont be bringing us any profit anytime soon, we've been surviving off of our own funds and family funds.
Because of that, I haven't been able to get my eye checked since my eye injury last summer. My Levator ani has gotten progressively worse, where I need to spend half of the day in bed or walking because I have constant chronic lower back/tailbone pain. And of course I keep having carpal tunnel symptoms, which I'm sure I'll get like my Dad did - hand numbness FTW! OH! And resurgence of my old nemesis, daily heart burn! Now I gotta take tums like twice a day or I can't sleep...not that I could because I've had insomnia since forever
What I worry most about is my hands, eyes, and butt though. If I can't sit and draw, what am I good for? And I don't mean to put me or anyone else down...I just have had the unique privilege of actually *somewhat* surviving off of my art and it's all thanks to you guys! I don't know what else to do with my life. Like seriously, for almost a decade, I've been able to comfortably say I've been making some sort of money doing what I love. I feel so blessed, but at the same time horrified. Even though I've worked with the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Andrew Hussie, Viacom and other big names/studios, I'm still financially where I was before, and health wise, even worse. I'm 30 now, and I've not stopped working since I was 16. I've only ever had one job that gave me health insurance, and that was my last studio.
My health became a big concern late January/early February. No one wants to hire someone new at the end of the year, but low and behold, the head hunters started reaching out to me, offering me contracts. We were running really low on our saved up funds, and swapping between studio work and comics was becoming really stressful. I started focusing solely on Size Horrors (that comic y'all voted on), which I sketched out every page and started inking. I figured I'd stop working on my game studio idea with Sergio now, and look for full time work, whilst finishing Size Horrors to pay the rent. Eventually, when I get a full time job with great health insurance I can work on the game in my free time, I thought. None of the jobs I was finding was in games, or animation, or cartoons or anything else I like, they were all in design *rolls eyes*, but they paid really well, and of course offered great health insurance. When my family found out about this, my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc all got money together and said they'd invest in our game studio idea!! I felt so moved, that even though I had the potential of finding steady work in an industry I disliked, my family wanted me to instead pursue my dreams. I really was shocked - in a good way of course!
So this is where I thought I'd finally be free of my endless depression. I felt as if I finally had the opportunity I'd always dreamed of! We finally had money for a few months so we could make a really awesome kick starter video. Now I could work on this project full time! I wish I had just been better mentally prepared for what that all meant lol. I said since the beginning that I wanted to do everything by the book, so of course things took time. We just finally filed all the documentation for the company last week, after doing a whole bunch of paperwork with lawyers and stuff like that...so we still don't have a bank account set up yet, and it's almost April. No one likes asking family for money, though I eventually bent...but yeah, it's been a stressful 2 months money wise, because I thought "Hurrah, we're saved, we have funding now!", when really there would be a bit of a waiting period. Because of that we couldn't really do much for my 30th birthday. I don't think my family knew how tight on cash Sergio and I actually were.
I was bummed about the whole birthday thing. My cousin was having a baby shower the weekend AFTER my birthday, and my family already agreed to attend, so they couldn't fly up for my birthday. My best friend also had to work that day. It's honestly the dumbest, most privileged, first-world problem thing I could be worried about, but I just wanted my 30th birthday to be awesome. All my friends and family had awesome 30th birthday parties, surprise parties, trips to vegas, partying out in the town and dancing...something! I had a meltdown a few days before my birthday with my cousin on the phone who had no idea how depressed I was...no one in my family really did. I was sad it wasn't going to be a happy birthday, but I think I just felt trapped by my insecurity with finance, life, work, etc. I have always been such an over achiever, and 2 years ago I would have said I'm on track to being where I want to be. Today I can't see the light above...I just feel like I've fallen down a put and I'm trapped.
My parents don't seem too concerned about my depression, but most of my parents generation doesn't even think it's real or long lasting...My sister and cousins though have been checking up on me. Because they knew my bday would be so lonely Sergio and my family conspired and got us some last minute tickets to Lion King on Broadway which was a wonderful surprise! They know I'm a sucker for anything Disney, and I love seeing live shows in the city! It may have been a shitty day, but I will admit, it was nice to dress up and go out...feel pretty, stroll through Manhattan with my arm around my husband's arm, sit through some ridiculously over priced show. For 3 hours I didn't feel like garbage lol. I know some people reading this are probably like "WTF Jit, you have Sergio, why would you need anything else?", and honestly, that's what gets me through the day most days. But you know there are certain days, maybe a birthday, or a holiday, new years, etc where you reflect. And this was it, no one person aside from myself could make this day a happy one. Sergio, as much as he is attentive, thoughtful, romantic, sweet, etc...he does not do birthdays. He is bad at birthdays, he always has been and I suspect after spending 12 birthdays with him, that he wont change. I get it, I grew up in the USA, where even my immigrant parents caught on to bring cupcakes to my class in elementary school, where birthday parties and gifts were expected, where even at restaurants I was praised and given sweets for the fact of being alive LOL. Sergio grew up in Japan where people could not give a crap about birthdays. You cut a cake at home or something like that...but it's not really a BIG event like we do here in the US.
Whatever, I digress. I knew at the time I was being stupid for being grumpy over something so small. My parents and sister flew out the next weekend, and it was great seeing them! I really needed to see them, not just because I missed them for my birthday, but because my computer was losing its shit, so we backed up and wiped my machine. Unfortunately not everything saved over...including a promotional piece I made for Size Con, a WIP commission and 2 whole sketched out pages of my Veronica and Sergio "Sheltered" comic. Boy was I dragging my feet...I did not look at my computer for days. I was in full mope mode. The weekend visit from my family was such a refresher, my sister even pitched in to help me out. She bought me a new toaster so I wouldn't have to bang mine, and use pliers to turn it on LOL. She also bought me panties so I could throw away all my ghetto old ones with holes in them. I had a renewed outlook again, but unfortunately that was very short lived.
Last week my ferret Watson was doing bad...worse than usual, and unfortunately he passed away at home in my arms. For those of you who don't know, he had lymphoma, adrenal disease and insulinoma and we've been keeping him 'comfortable' for the past year or so. I've mentioned him a few times, especially in some of my TF comics, because his treatment these past few years has been expensive, and I'm convinced y'all have literally helped my baby live as long as he did. Watson was extra special to me...not just because I've been with horrible baby blues for the past 5 years plus, and this is the closest thing I have to a 'baby', but he was that special
animal. If you've ever had multiple animals, or even that one animal who loves you unconditionally. That was him. Always eager to be pet, and give you a million kisses in return. Always happy to be lazy with you on the sofa, or cuddle with you in bed. That's not to say that I don't love my other babies, but this ferret was more of a dog than a weasel, not like the other ferrets I've had. He was the whole reason I even started the ferret legalization fight in NYC a few years back (yes that was me). It KILLS me knowing that I could never take my baby outside to play over a ridiculous, outdated law. I feel like I failed him. Ferrets are legal in New York State, Long Island, New Jersey, etc...it's just a dumb NYC law. Today we finally received Watson's ashes, and whenever I get out of my financial hole and own property, I want to bury his ashes with a tree. I hope maybe he can nourish it, live through it, and maybe finally enjoy some sun. I can't thank
enough for lending me her car so I could take my baby's body to the vet that day to be cremated...I was a total mess because I couldn't shovel out of the ice from the blizzard. Love you girl. BFF <3
I'm sorry this is all so depressing. I talk about this not because I want support or attention, or I need someone to ask me if I'm ok (please don't!). Not because I feel alone or feel like Sergio isn't enough for me. It's not because I'm looking for more friends to make, or people to preach to. Please, I mention this again and again, not
to contact me about this sort of stuff, because I'm married to a good listener lol. I don't need to vent to you, or another friend, or a family member. Sometimes I just want people to know where I'm coming from, because it's something that I realistically need to fight on my own. I'm not asking for something physical or monetary, but patience and understanding. I'm trying my best to stay chipper and positive, so please in the near future, don't send me pity and worry, send me happy thoughts and love. I'm trying my best to keep up with all my fans and followers. >.<
I don't want this to be all doom and gloom though. I want to try and end this on a more positive note, because there are some good things that happened, and I know I should focus on that! This week, it finally looks like we snagged an intern for my company and she's fucking awesome! And while filing took forever, I'm actually looking forward to a legit incorporated business...that's fucking cool as hell! *v* Also, for my birthday Sergio bought me a subscription to FFXIV so I'd stop feeling cooped up and anti-social since we have no money to do anything in New York City
I played FFXI for 6 years, so I'm a virtual dating vet
Even though the other person is sitting a foot away from me LOL. I don't know how long term I'll be playing, if I'll have the time with work, and I'm still on my first month trial...but I'm really loving it so far!! I'm playing on Faerie if you ever want to play with us :3 I'm Jiten Sha.